Wednesday, 17 October 2007
Jack's Twagging Excuses
To 'twag' is a slangy English verb used in some regions to describe skiving off school.
I admit that I am impressed by the ingenuity of Jack's twagging excuses and if he similarly applied himself at school we would have a prodigy on our hands.
In common with many children round here Jack and Eleanor pick up the occasional nits. I think that the nits are becoming immune to the anti-nit solutions. Jack uses this as an excuse not to wash his hair as he reasons nits do not like clean hair.
On M0nday they said they had both been stratching and couldn't go to school because you weren't allowed if you had nits. They spent an arduous day in front of the telly while I went out and bought the above solution and comb which I used on their hair. I strongly impressed upon them the fact that they had to rinse off the solution throroughly when they had a bath, as it was a poison, as it killed the nits.
My warnings must have been too dire and apocalyptic as the next day as I was walking to school with Ells and Holls we saw Jack returning from the bus stop in the direction of our house. He said he felt sick and felt he was being poisoned by a small amount of solution which apparently had not been properly rinsed from his hair. We quickly went home and re-rinsed his hair. The rest of the day was spent at home recovering. When Ells and Holls came home I apparently hurt Jack's feelings by saying 'Hello, welcome to twaggers' corner'. It is touch and go whether he goes to school today because of hurt feelings yesterday when somebody made this frog stick it's tongue out at him and because half a mile away somebody had an argument.