Wednesday, 17 October 2007

Jack's Twagging Excuses


To 'twag' is a slangy English verb used in some regions to describe skiving off school.
I admit that I am impressed by the ingenuity of Jack's twagging excuses and if he similarly applied himself at school we would have a prodigy on our hands.

In common with many children round here Jack and Eleanor pick up the occasional nits. I think that the nits are becoming immune to the anti-nit solutions. Jack uses this as an excuse not to wash his hair as he reasons nits do not like clean hair.

On M0nday they said they had both been stratching and couldn't go to school because you weren't allowed if you had nits. They spent an arduous day in front of the telly while I went out and bought the above solution and comb which I used on their hair. I strongly impressed upon them the fact that they had to rinse off the solution throroughly when they had a bath, as it was a poison, as it killed the nits.

My warnings must have been too dire and apocalyptic as the next day as I was walking to school with Ells and Holls we saw Jack returning from the bus stop in the direction of our house. He said he felt sick and felt he was being poisoned by a small amount of solution which apparently had not been properly rinsed from his hair. We quickly went home and re-rinsed his hair. The rest of the day was spent at home recovering. When Ells and Holls came home I apparently hurt Jack's feelings by saying 'Hello, welcome to twaggers' corner'. It is touch and go whether he goes to school today because of hurt feelings yesterday when somebody made this frog stick it's tongue out at him and because half a mile away somebody had an argument.

3 comments:

Bobbie said...

LOL! Some things never change and "twagging" is one of them. I know just how they feel 'cause I'd like to twag a little myself!

Frances said...

Loved this.
When Jasmine, my daughter got nits, I kept her off school and spent the day combing and the rest - I rang the school - they were amazed I'd kept her off school. They said most of the children had them so it wasn't worth keeping her off school. After that, I think she had them on and off for a couple of yeara and then suddenly, no more. There was an epidemic in London, some of the chemicals didn't work. Also she had eczema and got allergic reactions... I used an electric comb to shock them to death, hair conditioner to slide them out and so on and so on. What a palaver! When we were in Lebanon on holiday, I realised she had them again. I went to the chemist's and they gave me a shampoo, you just washed the child's hair as usual, it smelt nice, she got no reaction and all the lice disappeared. Probably illegal here!
Long live twagging! Poor lad, he is probably still suffering from his cookery experiences of last year. tee hee

Sweet Irene said...

Good old Jack. Sounds like my son when he was a little boy. Any reason to stay home with Mom where it was so cozy. Having cookies and milk in front of the TV and being generally lazy. We used to call those 'mental health days.'